Contemplating the future in this chess game of life :)

Each person i meet is a like a book...some open...some closed...some half read...some in need of writing...just a tweak here and a pinch there...i wonder if i should start life all over again...given all that i have learnt in this grid...only knowing time will not give me back those twenty odd years...all my life iv'e been compared to friends and family...in some cases even random folks i never knew...i never knew back then why things were that way...only thing i knew was than i felt bad about being the gold standard among all relatives and family till about my 12th grade...then i stopped studying in all sense of academics as i got tired of others being compared...all in all four years of engineering college were at the mercy of the angels...no wonder the first class...i realized at the alumni meet twenty years later that they still remember me by name...but that's a story for another day...a brief stint at rolla didn't change much in terms of concentrating on academics...having the evanston clan watching and messing around was irritating enough...however some where the torture triggered a memory awakening of images and context from my life at a very very young age...i even remember the idiot at the other end of the line threaten me with my life all at two feet and a few inches tall and barely able to "count" the number of years from my age of five...puzzle books that should never have been published...worse yet...a movie that should not have seen light of day @mercury rising...i had once told my american friend...there are kids out there that can hear telemetry in audio and he thought i was a weirdo :) i know for sure that the evanston clan sure showed up with intent...i didn't know if he knew...but turns out the old man from park city had been watching since age five...only i had not been listening...and to top it off God had been watching and guiding me since birth...!!! i'm glad i didn't choose sides...as then it would have closed a LOT of doors very quickly...and i did not want to close them...having made them shower no favors has a freedom in itself...what to do...what to do...so much to say but my mind keeps saying never say anything :) This asthmatic kid whom the sea brought a gift of breathing freely still remembers having fallen all the way to that old house in versova...months and months of falling never knowing the purpose...only to realize that the angelic gift of absorbing the darkness from someone else came early on as a child...i have always been protected by love, that little battle angel from God himself, however yawning out the darkness as a child was best done under his supervision :) Many many storms later i write this in confusion having hidden my thought process for a while [twenty years odd] now...i know for sure that the time gone by will never come back...don't know if the system will allow another attempt at making it clean...lets see...trying now to find the most important piece in this chess game of life...my queen :)