Every book i read....


@Transformers...its just dusty old books she said...in my library @this matrix...everyone is a book...a book that has been partly read...one that will rewrite itself a bit for the future...i've tried being at peace with myself for over twenty years now...so much difficulty in controlling my mind...but at the end i managed to find a way to ignore the junk in my head...sad part is that the junk never goes away...the system tends to shove your life in front of you irrespective of age, sex, situation...some times we learn sometimes we don't...and the reason we don't learn is often that we don't readily relate that the same situation occurred many years ago...and we had reacted differently but we don't remember...in the process of being able to control up to a point the thought process i've learnt that there are at times so many needles at play in our existential framework each trying to control a voice in the head, a pin in the fingers...it is difficult to be alone...one only ends up being lonely...and some of us are getting so badly affected ...we are at a point that we never need anyone in our lives again simply because we don't want our friends to get hurt in a way that we imagine in our heads...mother nature is always the great neutralizer...thanks to dad i've seen people recover from deep comas after many many years...i've seen folks whose heads have been through so much blood loss, its a miracle they are alive today...ive seen folks dying to have children for years suddenly have that miracle...ive seen soldiers who have had to live through being so tough in their professional lives that they often accidentally bring that load home and take a long time to recover but they do...ive seen kids bought and sold to start wars in corners of the world they have never even been to...ive seen hurricanes and storms smash the living daylights out of places that have taken years and years to rebuild knowing fully that every drop of water was so precisely placed in this infinite existence...i can only simply close my eyes knowing everything will eventually be ok...only thought that persists...will i be around to see that day...will i be around to know that it is all ok...? She is all knowing...the goddess of knowledge...and with every book having something unique that no other book has...i wonder how she plans it all...is she nature...is she that force...is she the one responsible for that light up in the forehead...in my case in a temple...in other cases their places of belief...puzzling.

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